Need Not Apply

The sign said: NO GIRLS ALLOWED. Nothing wrong with that if you were at the He-man Women Haters Club - and 5 years old. It is no surprise that Freedom Acres (a swingers club for married/committed couples) prohibit single men, under any circumstances. But there is always someone bound to cry exclusion and want access to every association there be. Private clubs are inherently exclusive and, except when excluding particular races, must remain so. Otherwise, groups would be opened to every passing louse about, diminishing the sought after sense of belonging. You can hang around the train station for this kind of experience.

It would be impossible for Spanky and Alfalfa, of the aforementioned HWHC, to have admitted their sweetheart Carla and still be the HWHC. The same goes for the many other bastions of segregation. Those homophobic religions would be hypocritical if they were to embrace their gay followers. Nude beaches would be that much more creepy if the clad were permitted to mingle.

While Groucho Marx was right to be suspicious of a club that would have him, it’s absurd to want to be a member of a club that won’t have you. If you’re so in need of a posse, start one anew; just like Henry VIII, the original Protestant, did when he needed a divorce-loving, beheading-forgiving, quasi-Christian religion.

If the whiners and wannabes manage to remove all barriers, anyone could join any lot of their choosing. Just think, no membership restrictions for Mensa, the Mile High Club, The Fantastic Four or even The St. Andrew's Society, you name it.

Have a hoot, keep em’ out